Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Woeful Spotlight: Kris Earle

People are talking about time travel.  What year would you time travel to, and what would you do when you are there?

I would go to the year 2020. I would meet Future Kris from the year 2020 and sit down with him and chat over a baloney sandwich.

"How's it goin'?"

And future Kris would look me square in the eye and say,

"Not bad."

That's it. There's no magic, no mystery to it. Just a guy in the year 2020 who enjoys a good sandwich and doesn't know what the hell he's doing.....just like the Kris from the year 2011.

Except Future Kris will have less hair.

Or more.

You never know because it's..THE FUTURE.

If there was a deity that handed out superpowers, what powers would he/she give you?

I would like the power to text while driving.

If someone was to write The Kris Earle Story, what would he/she title your biography?

"The Kris Earle Story: A footnote of sadness and despair"
"For the love of Kris"
"39 and loving it!"
"Is that a rash? The Best of Kris Earle."
"Boy Story 3"
"101 Ways to Piss People Off"
"Expiration Date: 2012"
"I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU: How to ruin a man's spirit with five words."

Pimp yourself – where can our readers find your comic stylings?
My mother keeps a few of my colorings still on her refrigerator. One is from 1977 and depicts a fun filled summer scene of bunnies picnicking on an orange field with an above-ground pool with a diving board. In the sky above is both the Death Star and a Giant Ass that shits fireworks. Both my 2nd grade teacher and my principal of the school didn't think it was fireworks. My mother and step-father got a phone call and had to meet with the principal and teacher to convince them that it wasn't a giant ass that shit fireworks even though it was. We won.

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