Monday, September 17, 2012

Woeful Spotlight: Julie Kitayama

Julie’s essay in Woe of the Road proves that fairytale endings are bunch of hooey, despite what animatronic cartoon characters want you to believe.  

What is your greatest place on Earth?

I don’t know if it’s the greatest, but my favorite place to be is in my back yard early Sunday mornings.  I wake up really early, make a fresh pot of percolator coffee and sit in silence for hours reading the paper.  Luckily I only get the Sunday paper or I would be late for work every day.  

If you could be any animal, what would you be?

I would be one of these little dogs that ladies carry around in their purses.  That way I could see the world and everyone would tell me how cute I am and I wouldn’t have to compliment anyone in return. I could also growl at people that I don’t like without getting called bitch like I do when I growl at people I don’t like now.  

We hear you're into time travel. Where would you like to go?  

If I could time travel, I would go back to the day I bought the dress for my junior prom.  That was a mistake.  No one north of the Mason Dixon line should wear a hoop skirt dress.  They should have a warning label...“Cotillion Only”.

Promote yourself --- where can we find your work? 

Most of my published writing has been in the form of Chinese food restaurant reviews for an online Canadian newspaper.  That kind of work pays surprisingly well and I’m a big foodie.  My unpublished writing can be heard in my stand up comedy performances.  I perform regularly around New England and irregularly in other states although rarely below the Mason Dixon line.  I don’t have the right outfits for that...anymore.     

Friday, September 7, 2012

Woeful Spotlight: Linda Morgan

This week's spotlight is on Linda Morgan. Linda's story in Woe of the Road reminds us that when our significant others say to "just follow the signs" to get to the airport, it's best to just get their asses out of bed and have them drive you.

If jet packs became an acceptable form of personal transportation, would you own one, and why/why not?

Absolutely I would own one.  Not only for the safety of drivers still on the road but for the security of knowing I wouldn't be getting stuck in traffic without a soda cup to pee in (because my daughter made me clean out my car.)

What would the title of your autobiography be?

BORN YESTERDAY - The Untimely Life of Linda Morgan

If you came home to find an alien from outer space on your porch, what three questions would you ask it?

1. Why is the sky blue?
2. Will it hurt when you probe me?
3. Does this space suit make me look fat?

Promote yourself.  Where can our readers find more of Linda Morgan? 

I am a comic, actor, and writer who just moved to MA from CT. I recently played the role of Mrs. Collins in the feature length comedy Burial Boys, which won Best CT Film and Funniest Flick at the Silk City Flick Fest. Everything else about me that's fit to print is on